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Thursday, 6 August 2015

DEAR 16 YEAR OLD ME....





Friendships can be a strange thing, one little thing can make or break them. When I look back there all different kinds of relationship struggles I've faced, and whilst they can be sad - they also teach you very valuable lessons. There are so many things I wish I knew when I was younger, however, I was naive and far too trusting, which often resulted in me being hurt. I don't consider myself in any way a relationship expert, and I know I have my downfalls when it comes to friendships, but here are some things I've learnt, I just wish I could of learnt them sooner...

1. Don't compromise yourself for someone else - It becomes so easy to believe that putting yourself first is selfish, but it really isn't! Friendships are all about compromise, you both should be equal. I was terrible for always putting the other person and their needs first, at my own expense, and as a result they wouldn't have any respect for me. This would lead to bitchiness and being excluded - typical teenage behaviour, I know! But you can't expect someone to put you first, when you don't set that example. Once you gain respect for yourself and your needs, people come into your life that are willing to respect that too, and if they don't, they're really not the person for you. 

2. Don't attract negativity - Recently I've noticed my mood completely alters depending on the person I'm around. There are some people I can go to, and they just moan, in response, I just moan back! We all have a side to us that we could probably live without, and that's my side, I hate being a Debbie downer, but you can't surround yourself with negativity and expect a positive outcome. If there are people in your life that are stopping you from smiling, then they probably shouldn't be there. It sounds so brutal, I know, but life is really too short to be in a negative frame of mind. Chances are, if they're being negative to you, they've being negative about you. 

3. Quality over quantity - If you asked me a few years ago if I agreed with this statement, I would of straight up said no. In school you get sucked into the popularity, hierarchy and cliques - but it was so difficult to establish what a real friendship was. I never had a huge friendship group, in fact, I never had any really close friends - but I always longed for it. Now it doesn't bother me. I could probably count my friends on one hand. My best friend? Well, that's probably my mum - I tell her everything and I'd trust her with my life. She's amazing at helping me to find balance, and gain an understanding of issues that I've got going on. It was my relationship with my mum that made me realise I'd much rather have 3 people I can trust, rather than 15 people I can't really depend on. 

We all have individual lessons to learn, and that starts from looking within. But for myself, these are ones that if I could go back and tell the 16 year old me - I would. Now that I've learnt them, I feel a lot happier and I have a new found confidence. People that I'm attracting into my life now, are a lot more encouraging of this.

Love Aoife xx
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