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Tuesday, 18 August 2015

I DON'T THINK WE'RE IN SURREY ANYMORE...


I've just returned from two weeks in Crete, and I'm currently sat in my bed, trying to reflect on the experience; that's all I can put it down to, an "experience". There are so many things I want to say right now, but I'm really trying to bite my tongue. As I was going with my family, I was definitely up for meeting new friends - I've never been one to hold back in talking to people. So when a group of Dutch guys approached me, after 5 days of being alone, I was excited to speak to some people my own age. Within less than 24 hours these guys had called me ugly, overweight, two-faced and so much more that isn't appropriate to write. Sounds very year 8 school boy, doesn't it? Well, these guys were in their 20's. It was like someone was taking all of my biggest insecurities and laying them out to me in a 10 minute conversation. I felt self-conscious and paranoid. I didn't want to speak to new people for the rest of the holiday, and I was ready to get home to jump straight back into my comfort zone. I'd never been spoken to like that before, and it made me feel scared.

It wasn't until I met some girls a little younger than me, and watched exactly the same situation repeat itself, that I realised it wasn't personal. The comments that were made, weren't my insecurities, but their insecurities. They were trying to find a way to project their flaws onto someone else. When you hear comments like that, it becomes so easy to make them your reality, looking into the mirror everyday and believing them - I did. It's not until you watch it happen to someone else, that you realise, someone else's ignorance is not who you are. Besides, was I really going to listen to a group of 10 guys that were on a lads holiday, abusing girls that were significantly younger than them? It wasn't until my final days of my holiday, that all of this hit me, and I started feeling like myself again.

Now, I have a message for those guys, something I really want to share with you. I want to send you love. I want to send you love so you no longer feel the need to project your anger or hurt onto someone else. I'm sending you kindness, so that one day you'll maybe learn to do the same. I wish you happiness, so that you don't feel the need to try and take away someone else's.

I also have a message to myself, and anyone else who has experienced something similar. You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn't know you. Someone else's opinion does not define you as a person. Who are they to tell you that you aren't beautiful? You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile. The fact you got out of bed today, read this, and carried on, shows strength, and that in itself, is beautiful. Those mistakes you made, they haven't broken you and they certainly don't define you - they make you wiser. I want you to have the strength to know, that being spoken to like that isn't acceptable, and you don't have to accept it. I wanted to dedicate something to any girls, or boys who have ever experienced something like this. Just remember it's them, not you.

Love Aoife xx
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