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Thursday, 10 September 2015

THE CONFIDENCE ISSUE


Confidence was never something I lacked in having as a teenager. Self-confidence on the other hand, now that was a whole new ball game. Just because I can walk into a room and hold my own, doesn't mean I'm not trying to mind read every single person, wondering what they think of me. Truth is, you can't control the opinions of others, it's something external. It wasn't until recently that I realised, other people's opinions, is actually none of my business. 

"Aoife you're your own worst enemy", was a phrase I often heard. However, it didn't sadden me to hear it, in fact it gave me a sense of achievement. I used to think putting myself down, would make me grow, toughen me up, and give me drive. But in all honesty when was the last time you heard an extremely successful person say that they start their day with a good old bash at themselves?! You didn't. Yes, every successful can accept their flaws, but that's the difference - acceptance. Not hating on ourselves for them. Imagine waking up every day and someone telling you "you're not going anywhere", or "you're ugly", or "you're not good enough" - you'd eventually flip. So when did it become ok for us to do it to ourselves? Other people are mean to us, but we're REALLY mean to us.


self-confidence
noun
  1. a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement. 




Now I'm not saying that self-confidence is something that you decide to wake up one day and just "have". It takes time. But what makes the difference, is the choice to have some of it. I don't want my lack of success to be down to my lack of self-confidence. Like I said, you can't control other people's judgement, but you can control your own. As cliche as it sounds, here's how to get started - 

1. Focus on your strengths.

2. Know your values and what's important to you.

3. Focus on what you HAVE achieved, rather than what you haven't. 

Life is all about finding a balance, and the same applies here. But believing in yourself, trusting your own judgement and ability can go a long way. 


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