Sunday, 14 January 2018


"You're stronger than you think you are right now, you're a strong woman who doesn't take sh*t from anyone" 

My Dads advice couldn't of hit me harder if he tried, when I was coming out of my last long term relationship. I was hurt and felt empty inside, like the guy had taken everything I stood for as a woman away from me and I was left to fill that gap. I was angry at myself more than him, for allowing it to happen. Without wallowing too much in how he hurt me because this blog post is about me as a woman - not him. I thought about how girls respond to breakups and what is expected of us when we do go through them. 

"You're allowed to hurt right now, you're allowed to cry and eat ice cream and miss him" 

Advice from my female friends. Albeit that is true, you shouldn't fight your feelings and if you want to have your Bridget Jones moment then by god girl you probably deserve it! But why was I finding more empowerment from my Dad, the only real male influence in my life, yet I was being encouraged to be the victim from the majority of the female influences in my life? I'd been hurt yes, but that hurt made me learn a huge lesson, it made me come out the other side an even stronger woman and when I look back -

After dating a guy for a few weeks and it ending, I was bored of the stereotype we'd created for ourselves, the chocolates, ice cream, sad songs and movies. It was time to re-write the narrative of how women deal with breakups. It's time to be done with the notion of the bitter, jaded, angry woman, who wants to seek revenge and is left feeling hopeless after someone leaves and time to start shedding light on the positives of the situation. 

I found strength in realising that person wasn't offering something fulfilling but I could easily offer it to myself. 

I found  respect for myself for walking away from the situation in the first place and realising "I expect and deserve better and you aren't cutting that right now". 

I found excitement in the prospect of really getting to know myself, my needs, and getting back in touch with myself without having to sacrifice or compromise. 

I found peace in knowing that his ill actions towards the end were not a reflection of myself, my worth, my values or morals as a person - they were a reflection of his. 

There's something in the air for female empowerment at the moment, chatting amongst some of the strong women around me we're all motivated and driven to make this "our year". The Golden Globes led the way in creating a universal shift for women's movement. I preach for women's empowerment as much as I can, but find when we get ourselves tangled up in these situations with men we lose sight of all of that and become the victim to their actions. Translating those emotions, whether it be anger, hurt, distrust, hopelessness etc. into something productive can be hard but the results can be phenomenal. Before you know it you're looking back saying "Wow, the power of the women". 

You've taken the good from the bad and realised your worth because of it. 

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